An excellent article was published entitled “6 steps to starting a community“. Many of the points here are inspired by that article.

Conflict is an inevitable part of living in community. “Community” exists anywhere and anytime two people are in contact (according to Jim Manske). Within intentional communities, I have mainly failed to resolve conflict with compassion.

I had the training in the correct protocols to de-escalate a conflict, but many times I burned through relationships and even more by responding violently.

What is this saying about the spiritual paths that I am on?

At any rate, regular study in conflict resolution is essential for keeping people connected.. and if a person does decide to disconnect from another, then accountability for that decision on both sides is needed.

The exact mode of conflict resolution will change based on the input of members.

Currently, we use non-violent communication as taught by Marshall Rosenberg. The Thursday communication lab initially focuses on this.

Decision Making

Tangential to conflict resolution is decision-making. The reason you make decisions is because you think something is wrong. The reason you have conflicts is because you think someone else is wrong.

The N-Street Consensus Method appears to be an effective way to handle the proposal/decision-making process.

Deal Breakers

Inspired by the article, here are a list of deal breakers for Fantasy Island:

1. Addiction
2. Cigarette smoking
3. Suicide attempt or mental breakdown in last 6 months
4. Intolerant attitude
5. Possession of firearms.

Expulsion Policy

Inspired by Paxus’ post:

Expulsion of a full member may, but need not, take place for any of the following reasons (the word “co” replaces “he” or “she” –

1. Co openly repudiates the principles of the Community and works against their implementation.
2. Co is found guilty by local, state, or federal authorities of some crime or misdemeanor and the Community therefore feels it is no longer appropriate for co to remain a member.
3. Co consistently does less than cos share of the Community work.
4. Co absents coself from the Community for more than three weeks beyond the point of legitimate vacation according to current Community policy or without having made satisfactory arrangements with the Community with regard to cos absence.
5. Co physically, sexually and/or mentally abuses another member or guest of the Community, or any child, by any aggressive action and/or words which the Community interprets as sufficiently serious and/or likely to be repeated to warrant expulsion. The application of the foregoing provision to abusive words is not intended to inhibit the free expression of information, opinion, belief or emotion. It is intended to apply when oral or written language is presented in a threatening, harassing, or violent manner such that it would be reasonably expected to cause physical, sexual or mental harm. Guidelines for Applying the Mental Abuse Provision of the Bylaws
6. Co repeatedly and/or flagrantly violates the equality principle by appropriating to cos use items (including but not limited to cash) intended for the use of the Community as a whole or property designated for other use; or co repeatedly or flagrantly steals property belonging to someone else;
7. Co is discovered to have made bad faith declarations of the extent or disposition of cos property when entering the Community or subsequently, or co grossly violates the Community Property Code (Article IV below) with regard to the disposition of said property or the disposition of any income co received while a member.
8. Co deliberately and overtly attempts to destroy or disband the Community by any legal, extralegal, or financial means or in any other manner, provided that this shall not be broadly interpreted to refer to the holding of disapproved opinions or to behavior which from time to time might be considered dangerous. It is intended to refer specifically to deliberately making trouble between the Community and civil authorities, involving the Community in a lawsuit, involving the Community in unauthorized financial obligations, and such similar hostile acts or attempted hostile acts. The above provisions shall not be taken as requiring the Community to expel a member, even for these reasons. The Community may, but need not, expel a member for any of the above reasons. The Community also has the option of substituting other remedies or sanctions.

Expulsion Mechanism.

The procedure for expulsion shall be as follows: Expulsion may be proposed by any voting member. The Planners and/or such other body of members as the Planner may authorize either ad hoc or as a matter of policy, shall hold a public meeting or meetings on the proposed expulsion — provided, however, that at one meeting or another the member in question shall be given full opportunity to answer any accusations or to explain cos conduct or view and express cos desires concerning cos membership, if possible. If, after the member in question has been heard, the Community desires cos expulsion, if possible co shall be so informed, at which time co will normally be allowed at least three days before co is required to leave the Community premises. Extensions of this period may be made at the discretion of the Community.